I couldn't go any higher with three Michelin stars. I mastered my craft. I'm still learning and picking up ideas.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Reading is for pleasure

What does it mean to protest suffering, as distinct from acknowledging it?

The power of prayer is so profound that it can assuage our emotions. It calms the mind, dilutes all our worries, gives an anchor to fears and endows us with a remarkable peace of mind.

Doubt is like a thorn you can't get a hold on.

Unfortunately, kids are led to believe things are easier to achieve than they really are.

I never work with music. I hate background music, always did. I only like music in the foreground, meaning, deliberately listen to it, actually.

I was so afraid of upsetting people, and not being liked for saying something that was not to everyone's taste.

It's just satisfying for me to be able to write kind of like a finished, nice product.

More Bibles are bought and fewer read than any other book.

The first time I ever found Paste I thought somebody just might have finally made a magazine using only the contents of my brain. I read it cover to cover every single month.