I couldn't have gotten into Harvard with a crowbar.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

Persons desiring to know what love is might benefit more if they were able to understand what love is not.

Someday, I'm going to have to break some of your rules, Mom.""I know, " she said. "Try to do it behind my back, will you?¨You can bet on that, Mom.¨We both sat there and laughed.

Each time a breeze starts, I feel the air all the way through me.

God wants us to know that when we have Him, we have everything.

The Iraq War is largely about oil.

The intellect of the wise is like glass; it admits the light of heaven and reflects it.

One who is to be pardoned should not be harassed.

There's an, oh such a hungry yearning burning inside of me.

The language of the poem is the language of particulars.

You can have a perfectly horrible day where you doubt your talent... Or that you're boring and they're going to find out that you don't know what you're doing.