I'd been on all the television programs as an actor, as a writer, as a director, as a producer.

If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

The difference - the fundamental difference between theater acting and film acting is that film acting is disjunctive.

I think that anybody's craft is fascinating. A taxi driver talking about taxi driving is going to be very, very interesting.

When you're talking about the thing that is most important to someone, they're liable to feel something strong.

Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not.

I must confess that when I'm alone in my study, here in New York, writing; that's when I'm happy.

There's only one man I've called a coward, and that's Brian Doyle-Murray.

A good day's writing, when I turn off my computer after I know that I've written okay, or as well as I can write, that's a day well spent.

Our language, one of our most precious natural resources, deserves at least as much protection as our woodlands, streams and whooping cranes.

The definition of genius, really, should be that that person can do what the rest of us have to learn how to do.

Does the human heart know chasms so abysmal?

The lower your expectation the easier and happier your life will be

I'm actually pretty good at tennis. Well, if I'm in the Special Olympics or something.

There is no accident so unfortunate but wise men will make some advantage of it, nor any so entirely fortunate but fools may turn it to their own prejudice.

We cannot show weakness in this world today

I was never out of my Bible.

Wit is like caviar - it should be served in small portions and not spread about like marmalade.

I think criticism of good work should stop somewhere.

The coconut trees, lithe and graceful, crowd the beach like a minuet of slender elderly virgins adopting flippant poses.

And in the morn and liquid dew of youth, Contagious blastments are are most imminent.