I'd choose truth over cake but I'd try to find a way to get both to be honest.

Blanket statements are always stupid. NO EXCEPTIONS!

During a heat wave every dude stinks.

Visiting Saturn sounds like a lot of fun but you will die!

It's better to have a broken CD player that worked once than to never have evolved into a self-aware carbon based lifeform.

Bird Poop in the mouth is always a surprise.

Cars and bumper cars are two very different things. NEVER sleep in a bumper car.

Nothing is perfect. Therefore, being perfect is being nothing… and that's a great way to lose weight.

The good thing about living like me is everywhere you go is a step up.

At one time or another, farts have coincided with every other sound, including this quote.

Failure is not an option. It just happens all the time. Like, all the time.

All the scholastic scaffolding falls as a ruined edifice before a single word: faith.

Normal is all relative.

For wit and judgment often are at strife, Though meant each other's aid, like man and wife.

Those who cannot bravely face danger are the slaves of their attackers.

Come little cottage girl, you seem to want my cup of tea; and will you take a little cream? Now tell the truth to me!

Pessimism is reactionary because it makes the very idea of improving the world impossible.

I wake up saying, I'm still alive; a miracle. And so I keep on pushing.

Process is not a substitute for skill.

Cancer' is such a frightening word.

Faith is believing in the impossible because we have a God who is master of impossible.