I'd get very nervous and uncomfortable in social situations and the only way I could feel at all normal was, well, to drink my guts out.

I think everybody's weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.

if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.

Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate

We don't always cry because we are weak, sometimes we cry because we have been strong, brave and courageous for way too long.

I'm having too much fun today to worry about tomorrow.

People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long.

When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.

I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots.

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war!

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

The ductless glands secrete among other things our moods, our aspirations, our philosophy of life.

Where would dictators be without our compliant amnesia? Make the collective lose its memory, you can conceal anything.

All messages from Satan are played forward and are in standard American English.

Affliction is a mother, Whose painful throes yield many sons, Each fairer than the other.

What I do for migraines when I get them, I listen to classical music, and I turn it up really loud.

The best visual book I can think of is Lynda Barry's What It Is, but although I refer to it all the time it's not a creative writing book per se.

In Russia I felt for the first time like a full human being. No color prejudice like in Mississippi, no color prejudice like in Washington. It was the first time I felt like a human being.

I think Bret Easton Ellis has said that he doesn't completely identify with his characters. And I think he has referred to them as immoral before.