I'd like to get married because I like the idea of a man being required by law to sleep with me every night.

A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.

The pursuit of happiness is a most ridiculous phrase: if you pursue happiness you'll never find it.

Remember that the successful marriage depends on two things: (1) finding the right person and (2) being the right person.

Why get married and make one man miserable when I can stay single and make thousands miserable?

If women ruled the world and we all got massages, there would be no war.

Science is the refusal to believe on the basis of hope.

No day is so bad that it can not be fixed by a good nap.

I'd like to have a boyfriend in prison so I'd always know where he is.

No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap.

Technology... is a queer thing. It brings you great gifts with one hand, and it stabs you in the back with the other.

Think crazily, even if others laugh at you. Act bravely, even if you are all alone.

No trouble ever got fixed late at night, " he said. "Midnight is for regrets.

Duties are what make life most worth living. Lacking them you are not necessary to anyone.

You're better off missing a bus or an airplane once in a while than you are getting there too early all the time.

Accentuate the positive / Eliminate the negative.

The White House used to belong to the American people. At least that's what I learned from history books and from covering every president starting with John F. Kennedy.

The devil is not terribly frightened of our human efforts and credentials. But he knows his kingdom will be damaged when we begin to lift up our hearts to God.

Now get the hell out of here and go change the world.

The desertion of Jesus, by his followers, furnishes an argument in support of the supposition that he attempted to be king of the Jews, rather than that he was a superior being.

Foster and polish the warrior spirit while serving in the world; illuminate the path according to your inner light.