I'd like to get some new clothes, but I can't find a Big and Short store.

My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.

I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie.

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness.

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.

My mother had morning sickness after I was born.

You know you're ugly when you go to the proctologist and he sticks his finger in your mouth.

You are not honored for the fruit you pick, but for the trees you plant.

Do the small things with a great and a clean heart, even out of your least, and you never did a small thing at all, for the heart defines it all!

It doesn't interest me if there is one God or many gods. I want to know if you belong or feel abandoned. If you know despair or can see it in others.

I was working on 'Harry Potter' while I was growing up, and the attention it brought me made me feel quite isolated.

It's very important with an artificial leg that all high heels are exactly the same height.

I have the best divorce of anyone I've heard of.

I am a gate for God to accomplish great things. Through me and with me, new Life enters the world.

I'm not recognized very often, and if I am, it's a die-hard Veronica Mars fan. Which is usually flattering and an honor. I really try not to think about it.

For me, a better democracy is a democracy where women do not only have the right to vote and to elect but to be elected.

The time is ripe for the whole region to live in peace.