I'd like to go out for a cocktail... or seven.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

you don't have to be great to get started but you have to to get started to be great

He who cannot pray when the sun is shining will not know how to pray when the clouds come.

I usually do one con a year as a GoH and try to make the World Fantasy Convention for business purposes. Last year I went to a worldcon for the first time in two decades. I may go again this year.

All kids, I think, are creative, but they get it pounded out of them in school.

I was in the Square at the time. The crowd was a most good-humoured, easy going, smiling crowd; but presently it was transformed. A regiment of mounted police came cantering up.

There are very few people who are not ashamed of having been in love when they no longer love each other.

As a director you want to show the truth of people and sometimes that's unflattering, or it's not something that people want to see.

Love's merciless, the way it travels in and keeps emitting light.

When you retire for the night offer grateful homage to God for being with you all day long.

It's not just children who need heroes.