I'd like to retire at 50 but I don't want to sell papers in the middle of London on a Zimmer.

A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.

The only people who are desperate to go on the show are people we're desperate not to have on the show.

I always say I'd rather be miserable by myself than unhappy in a relationship.

I don't think I've got bad taste. I've got no taste.

I am really bad at actually interviewing people.

In my experience the difference between a straight and a bisexual is about four pints

I bet Maurice Gibb's heart monitor was singing the tune of Stayin' Alive.

A comedian's a comedian. They're a very kind of cynical bunch. I guess that's why I like them.

The BBC is a victim of its own independence.

I have nothing to say about my childhood. It was a perfectly pleasant upbringing - it's not like it was unhappy or anything.

I will always believe in you. And that’s more powerful than memory.

I can't give you the sunset, but I can give you the night.

She'd been pounding her location and thoughts into a device that would send those things to virtually any human with Internet access and yet looking over her shoulder had been a violation of privacy.

To fish in troubled waters.

It feels like when I write, it's intuitive. This is true of Frances, and it's true of this [The Funniest Movie Of The Summer].

Part of being an artist is that you are always concerned you don't have what it takes. It keeps us honest.

You", he said, "are the single exception that rule". The oldest, deepest, most beautiful flaw in his Silence."Without you, I would be a monster.

Fish cannot carry guns.

The object of our lives is to look at, listen to, touch, taste things. Without them, - these sticks, stones, feathers, shells, - there is no Deity.