I'd like to thank everyone who voted for me. And the one guy who didn't vote for me, thank you, too.

The Big Cactus... because if you come too close, you're gonna get stuck.

I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I'm the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I'm the good-quality dog meat. I'm the Alpo of the NBA.

They shot the ball well early. What comes out of the microwave hot doesn't always stay hot. I know, because I eat bagels in the morning.

The stats win nothing. I'm still sexy. I'm still great.

You know, I'm very photogenic.

No one calls me out, I'm from LSU.

I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere, either Miami or Orlando, I don't know yet.

I'm not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don't have to try to outdo him, I'm Shaq.

This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what's best for them, including me.

I'm going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year - I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.

We are all worms, But I do believe that I am a glow worm.

What Is Revealed Through You Is What Impacts The World

In my opinion, questions that are based on something real ought to be settled by something real without all this damned lazy miserable drifting

I am married and happy. My only wish is that nothing will change.

No man was ever eloquent by trying to be eloquent, but only by being so.

I think that Barack Obama faces a level of divisiveness, and I don't mean on a national level in terms of the North and the South and the Civil War; I really mean just politically.

I prefer writing for myself to perform, I guess. But if I had to choose, I'd rather perform in someone's movie than write a movie for someone else.

Two Rules for Happy Living: 1. Be able to experience anything. 2. Cause only those things which others are able to experience easily.

The real art is knowing what to leave out, not what to put in.

If you can't describe what you are doing as a process, you don't know what you're doing.