I'd like to thank the committee that brought this event about. It was an equal endeavor. They did the food decorations and reservations and I did the traffic flow.

A decorator can make lots of money - assuming she wins the lottery.

He's always been known to be entrepenurious.

Let us eat and drink: for tomorrow we diet.

I'm not much of a drinker. It only takes me one drink to get drunk . . . my fourth.

My husband lost a lot of weight on a new diet and I resent it. It's simple he just doesn't eat when I'm talking.

They say the Japanese don't experience menopause or hot flashes. If that's the case why are they the number-one fan-producing country in the world?

I don't give my weight. I weigh a hundred and plenty.

When she told her doctor that she always wanted to keep her weight exactly the same as her IQ he gave her a lecture on anorexia.

My husband yells comments like "How long till you're ready? Throw out a date."

My sister started to smell trouble when on the second day of her honeymoon the groom started asking for separate checks.

All great people had critics, but they still believe in beauty of their dreams.

She looked at me like I was stupid, the same look the girls in JC used to give me when I hadn’t heard of the latest boy band, or turned up at Zouk wearing unfashionable clothes.

I don't like it when people say, 'You're 45, so you should be wearing X and never Y.' For me, dressing is about attitude, not age.

Grief changes shape, but it never ends.

No. One. Comes. Before You.

The cure for mixed metaphors, I have always found, is for the patient to be obliged to draw a picture of the result.

I am so proud and grateful to be my mom's daughter.

The strangest thing [to sign] has to be parts of [fan's] anatomy. But mostly female.

Nothing true can be said about God from a posture of defense.

A nation devoid of art and artists cannot have a full existence.