I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

I'm not here to be small, to compare, to judge (myself or you), to fit in or to be perfect. I'm here to grow, to learn, to love, to be human.

But I also realize that winning doesn't always mean getting first place

I actually think sadness and darkness can be very beautiful and healing.

The first draft is the child's draft, where you let it all pour out and then let it romp all over the place, knowing that no one is going to see it and that you can shape it later.

Success in God's eyes is faithfulness to His calling.

Let us beware of common folk, of common sense, of sentiment, of inspiration, and of the obvious.

When you touch - don't take. Touch people only when you are giving something - reassurance, support, encouragement, whatever

To take a person out of slavery takes an instant. To take slavery out of a person takes a process.

We need those who pray constantly to compensate for those who do not pray at all.

Our holy lives must win a new world's crown.