I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I'll be here when you get back.

The masses will reject any theory, however reasonable it may be, if it lays a restriction upon the appetite.

Magnify the divine mystery and the holiness of mankind.

The martyrs shook the powers of darkness with the irresistible power of weakness.

The biggest losers are those who care only about winning.

I'm not a movie star. I'm just an actress

Dreamers who regard dreams as important and even vital to success in life will receive and remember helpful dreams.

Comedians still make fun of Bill's out-of-control appetites, but with Hillary, the mockery is about how she lets nothing be out of control.

I went to college with James Coburn and Steve McQueen was a very good friend.

The kind of happiness that stays with you is the happiness that springs from inward thoughts and emotions.