I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on.

Excuses are like butt holes everyone has 'em and they all stink.

If money don't buy happiness, what the hell does?

Matrimony and firefighting. They ain't for cowards.

A friend is someone who will bike to the ice cream shop with you, even when you don't look so good.

Let us talk about oxymoron, common sense, for instance.

Lust and love. They both put a fire in your damn shorts.

Celibacy sucks, no pun intended.

It is far better to know the painful truth than to live with a kindly falsehood.

Sometimes stupid is crime enough.

Men have two outstanding features--their brains and their genitalia. Unfortunately, both rarely function simultaneously.

It's up to you, not fate.

She was wearing a purple T-shirt, with a skinny black dress over it that made you remember how much of a girl she was, and trashed black boots that made you forget.

The only thing more important than your to-do list is your to-be list. The only thing more important than your to-be list is to be. ~

I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.

When we come upon assurances that a mystery has been solved, we go on investigating.

I have no technical psychological interest; it is drama, speech,and events that interest me.

You have a wound too, Papa." Hanna took Brigan's left hand, which was wrapped in a bandage, and inspected it. "Did you throw the first punch?

I'm from Oklahoma. I mean, you can't have good hair in Oklahoma. That's why everyone wears hats. The wind just messes it up.

Conditioned Awareness is where we live our lives in guilt over the past and anxiety over the future and never get to experience the present.

The due of honor in no point omit.