I'd rather clean all the bathrooms in Grand Central Station with my tongue than spend one more minute with you.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

A beautiful Soul never know how beautiful it really is, a ugly allways thinks it is.

Think the highest thought you can think, Feel into it, then expand it.Do this every morning.

Stress can also lead to poor posture because it causes you to breathe more shallowly, which leads to slumping.

One of the best protections against disappointment is to have a lot going on.

Elend started. "Vin!" Then, he smiled. "What took you so long?" "I got delayed by an Inquistor and a dark god," she said. "Now hustle.

Mark Twain married the daughter of one of New York State's leading Abolitionists, Jervis Langdon, who helped Frederick Douglass who became the great Negro leader to escape from slavery.

Purim is the birthday of the first Schutz-Jude , the first Jewish toady to foreign royalty.

I believe in the power of Jesus Christ to resolve any difficulty, to remove any weakness, to heal any disease.

Ideas run wild without discussion.

The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name; it's beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change.