I'd rather fight a buzzsaw than dance.

I think everybody's weird. We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.

if you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.

The only creatures that are evolved enough to convey pure love are dogs and infants.

Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate

We don't always cry because we are weak, sometimes we cry because we have been strong, brave and courageous for way too long.

I'm having too much fun today to worry about tomorrow.

People cry, not because they're weak. It's because they've been strong for too long.

When kids hit one year old, it's like hanging out with a miniature drunk. You have to hold onto them. They bump into things. They laugh and cry. They urinate. They vomit.

If someone were to harm my family or a friend or somebody I love, I would eat them. I might end up in jail for 500 years, but I would eat them.

I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots.

How beautiful this city, or perhaps any in the world, is to a woman who knows her bed awaits her even as she lingers, barefoot in the rain at midnight.

If it doesn't feel right, don't do it. Trust your intuition and don't ask "why", just say no.

If you have enough fantasies you're ready in the event that something happens.

Nature played a cruel trick on her by giving her a waxed mustache.

No! If you die, I die! You asked me to spend forever with you, and I'm going to!

I don't feel at home in New Orleans. I don't feel at home in Austin or L.A. And I just felt immediately at home in northern Australia.

Don't run with swords in your mouth!

A five-year-old Chinese girl knows more about football than I do.

The politicians don't just want your money. They want your soul. They want you to be worn down by taxes until you are dependent and helpless.

A determination to succeed is the only way to succeed that I know anything about.