I'd rather have a girl exposed to me than 25 women in prom dresses vying for a stranger.

Your inability to see yourself clearly is what's keeping you alive.

I looked up and saw the shape of a heart made by the silhouette of Ben Affleck and Matt Damon kissing.

We need to stop telling girls they can be anything they want when they grow up. Because it would have never occurred to them that they couldn't.

I do love poop. I can't help it. The heart wants what it wants. I enjoy being clever and pithy and political, but nothing's going to get me like dumb stuff.

People are always introducing me as Sarah Silverman, Jewish comedienne. I hate that! I wish people would see me for who I really am — I'm white!

Jews, black people - any people who are hated or who have suffered, either as individuals or as a people - use humour. It is a survival skill.

I hope the Jews did kill Christ, I'd do it again in a second.

Drew Friedman isn't just a brilliant artist. He takes you to a place. He takes you back in time. He makes you smell the stale cigarettes and cold brisket and you say, thank you for the pleasure.

They've got great parents; I'm just trying to be the fun uncle.

I like talking about things that are taboo, because it makes them not taboo anymore.

When it comes to greatness, God doesn’t choose for man.

It's not the nineteenth century

Shall I be'her'?

My feeling is that a good teacher can get results using any method, and that a bad teacher can wreck any method.

I had no problem going into retirement mode, ... I do what other retired guys do. I putter around the house and travel.

Wrestling became very stale and boring for me, and I wasn't really making any money with it. So I decided to get into fighting.

A woman who does not know herself has no choice other than to live with other people’s evaluations. But no one can adapt perfectly to public opinion. And herein lies the source of their destruction.

I took the right sow by the ear.

Everything you see has its roots in the unseen world. The forms may change, yet the essence remains the same.

I've spread my legs in the backseat in a creative sense quite a few times.