I’d smack you over the head with it so hard your bell would still be ringing for Church next Saturday night. ~ Jaz

Cassandra,” he said, “I hope you know that poaching Muppets is illegal in this country.

When I bite you, it'll be because I want to make your toes curl and your hair stand on end. And you won't need stitches afterward. You'll need crutches.

All you can do is hang in there and hope you don't get motion sickness and puke all over the newspapers.

The girl in me wanted to slap Lung across his face and yell, "Get your eyes off my sticky buns, ya creep!

Cool! Now I can steal some rich old coot's Ferrari and go fishing for marlin with the same piece of jewelry.

Sometimes things would be so much simpler if you could just pull out your gun and shoot the bad guy. Reason number seventeen why Indiana Jones is my hero.

Apparently you don't have to observe the Rules of Etiquette when reuniting with a muderous spouse.

Hey, if you decided to tear up the town, you can always use the leftover bread from my breakfast in place of your cane. I'm pretty sure it's hard enough to bust heads.

That's what I'd call him if he was my dog. Jacket-humper. Kinda had a ring to it. Although it seemed a little long for vet visits and intros to lady dogs.

There you go. Use your granddaughter to pick up women. That'll get you points in heaven.

There are eighty-eight keys on a piano and within that, an entire universe.

Negativity is never an option

A big thing will remain a big thing until a bigger thing will occur.

Don’t leave me, Em. You’re my salvation.

Eating a slice of white bread is like eating pure sugar.

The two-party system has served America very well. We always have political movements one way or another but the evolution of a lasting third party probably will not happen.

There is no secrecy comparable to celerity.

All men are brothers and each man is free.

'Capitalism' is a dirty word for many intellectuals, but there are a number of studies showing that open economies and free trade are negatively correlated with genocide and war.

Any politician who wants to run for president will come to me in a few years.