I'd spend more time with you if you were less like you.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Meditation is spending time with the self. It is the time to be intimated with the soul.

You can't betray yourself too often, or you become somebody else.

Spread the message of peace to become a pigeon carrying peace everywhere.

Comparisons are odious.

Fans don't boo nobodies.

There's no such thing as a perfect historical film.

However rich or elevated, a name less something is always wanting to our imperfect fortune.

The Parent Trap wouldn't have been as special without the remarkable performances by Hayley Mills.

Those who love to be feared fear to be loved, and they themselves are more afraid than anyone, for whereas other men fear only them, they fear everyone.

I go to sleep at night, and I feel like I just dreamed the whole day.