I'd still like to see 'Survivor' minus the planned show-biz parts. That would be the purest form of show business - I want to see someone so hungry that they eat somebody else's foot.

I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.

A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!

I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.

Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?

Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.

If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.

Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.

I can't not put humor in a book.

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.

Relaxation is the absence of worry.

Only in Russia poetry is respected--it gets people killed.

I looked him in the eye. “I will always love you.” Then I plunged the stake into his chest.

Every physicist knows that things connect with each other. To isolate things is not the way the universe works - winning best actor is arbitrary.

Churches don't need new members half so much as they need the old bunch made over.

Knowledge increases in proportion to its use; that is, the more we teach the more we learn.

Humility was a cult in my family. I only got it out of my father by accident when he was very old that he had won an Olympic gold medal.

The failed stimulus, along with Obamacare's long list of failures, show what happens when Congress passes laws in a rush.

Ignoring moralities is always undesirable, but doing so systematically is reallyworrisome.

There's always some way to find hope. Remember that.

What's a word, a talisman, to hold against the world?