I'd trade every last one of you for a moment's peace and a dog that didn't P on the carpet

I've been a little cranky since that house fell on my sister.

A balanced diet and a brisk daily walk will help keep you healthy, but there's nothing like a good-looking young man with a nice butt to help up your cardiovascular system.

You are a perfect woman, a magical blend of beauty, intelligence, and spirit. Without you, my life is nothing.

Yeah, world peace would be all right, but what about a day off in a slab of ham the size of my head.

There aren't many things a man finds more appealing than loyalty. Unless it's a woman with really big knockers.

If they really wanted us to resist temptation, they shouldn't a made it so damn tempting.

It's not as if I don't like men, I just have more respect for my washing machine.

In my experience, "what the hell" is generally the most interesting decision.

There is not a simple gene pool entirely free of toxic waste.

Marriage is like a toothbrush. It starts out smooth and gets kind of prickly towards the end.

So often, fear keeps us from being able to say yes to love—perhaps our greatest challenge as human beings.

I do not wish women to have power over men but over themselves.

But I believe we have a higher level of mentality within us, but we have to use the power in the right way.

I don't care if I get $50 million to do a film.

If we see suffering then we don't have suffering.

For me, doing a show, the excitement of singing live, and the possibility that you're not gonna be perfect - that's the thrill of it.

I think we've always been better live.

Talking is always a good idea. There's no harm in keeping lines of communication open.

Man has a dark side, yes, and it is called stupidity.