I'd vowed years ago to go to the grave the same way I'd been born, just a lot more wrinkly.

Valhalla on the right. Paradise regained on the left. Stuck between a Godiva truffle and a chocolate eclair. Between a rock and a very hard place. Two very hard places from the looks of it.

I'm sorry your pretty little world got all screwed up, but everybody's does, and you go on. It's how you go on that defines you.

Oh, drop the act, Tinkerbell, and get rid of my problem. Then we’ll talk.

That part of his body was simply uncontrollable, apparently functioning in accordance to a single law of nature: She existed--he got a hard-on.

There should be a vaccine against Adam Black. And all women should be given it at birth.

Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything.

Life's a choice: you can live in black and white, or you can live in colour. I'll take every shade of the rainbow and the gazillion in between!

It's often only in the lies we refuse to speak that any truth can be heard at all.

Nobody looks good in their darkest hours. But it's those hours that make us what we are.

The most confused we ever get is when we're trying to convince our heads of something our heart knows is a lie.

The Pain You Bear Today will Comfort You Tomorrow

Being a human is a great power. One can obtain everything. However, it is the greed that harasses him.

I will cancel job-killing restrictions on the production of American energy, including shale energy and clean coal, creating many millions of high-paying jobs.

Remember, you are only committed to what you confess.

Statistics: The only science that enables different experts using the same figures to draw different conclusions.

Days off are few and far between in the restaurant business. But on an hour off, I like to have a glass of wine with my wife.

I'm tired of leaving my wife at home with no nanny and no cook to take care of four kids by herself.

When you're feeling lost, take heart. It's just your brain gathering the information it needs to make good decisions.

The whole existence of man is a ceaseless duel between the forces of life and death.

Nonresistance is one of the principles of aikido. Because there is no resistance, you have won before even starting. People whose minds are evil or who enjoy fighting are defeated without a fight.