I decided that I would write one story about each thing that I knew about.

If something is wrong, fix it now. But train yourself not to worry, worry fixes nothing.

Before you react, think. Before you spend, earn. Before you criticize, wait. Before you quit, try.

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.

Critics are men who watch a battle from a high place then come down and shoot the survivors.

Worry a little bit every day and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years. If something is wrong, fix it if you can. But train yourself not to worry: Worry never fixes anything.

Happiness in intelligent people is the rarest thing I know.

The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places.

I drink to make other people more interesting.

I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.

We need to focus on our gift and never allow ourselves to be distracted from the execution of our purpose

Veal! Trust these bloated plutocrats to eat the flesh of poor, newly-born calves!

Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values.

The university is a series of individual entrepreneurs held together by a common grievance about parking.

Let me ask you a question. How long is too long to text someone back? My wife still thinks I died in 9/11.

For the subtlest folly proceeds from the subtlest wisdom.

The only time I went out was to go to bars at night and all the pictures were taken with a flash because there was no light at all. However now I'm very interested in light.

Rock stars did not invent burning out. They just do it louder.

Everybody laughs the same in every language because laughter is a universal connection.