I definitely look like a toddler. I feel comfortable and I have a lot of fun out there [John Mulaney Show]. And if I were to be extremely egotistical, I'd say I got a tiny bit better.

The more you do stuff, the better you get at dealing with how you still fail at it a lot of the time.

Ill book a ticket on some garbage airline. I dont wanna name an actual airline so lets make one up, lets just call it like Delta Airlines

I was always the squarest person in the cool room, and alternatively, sometimes the weirder person at the mainstream table.

Why do people shush animals? Theyve never spoken

I have a lot of stories about being a kid because it was the last time I was interesting.

I'm a very lucky person. I'm an idiot, and I've shoveled through life rather nicely so far, so I don't feel like I deserve good treatment.

If you’re comparing the badness of two words and you won’t even say one of them [the n-word], that’s the worse word.

All my money is in a savings account. My dad has explained the stock market to me maybe 75 times. I still don't understand it.

I plan to join the 'SNL' band as a maraca player and stand behind saxophonist Lenny Pickett. That way they will at least cut to me before commercial breaks. I'll be sure to look right into camera.

I like when things are crazy. Something good comes out of exhaustion.

Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

It is not enough to simply listen to student voice. Educators have an ethical imperative to do something with students, and that is why meaningful student involvement is vital to school improvement.

Secrecy, being an instrument of conspiracy, ought never to be the system of a regular government.

An irrelevance, and your life's altered.

Whatever decisions I make are going to be based first on a strategy to keep us safe and then we'll figure out how to resource it.

We'd failed, maybe, but some mysteries aren't meant to be solved.

I always felt that the Cubans were being pushed into the Soviet Bloc by American policy.

There's nothing wrong with having a 9-to-5 job, but figure out a way to have another stream of income.

You must always know the past, for there is no real Was, there is only Is.