I defy anyone to produce any evidence that the word 'happy' has ever crossed my lips. I am not now, nor have I ever been, 'happy.'

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man - there's your diamond in the rough.

Even though the National Guard and Army Reserve see combat today, it rankles me that people assume it was some kind of waltz in the park back then.

Being Larry David on Curb Your Enthusiasm was the best thing to happen to Larry David in life.

Give a guy a girlfriend and a great job, he doesn’t need therapy.

I’d rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time.

Women love a self-confident bald man.

Sometimes you have to wander a bit, and do what you don't want to in order to figure out what it is you're supposed to do.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to do their fighting for them while they ski and eat chocolate.

I had a job as a paralegal. I drove a cab.

A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone

It's no wonder I became a monster, too.

Nobody ever did, or ever will, escape the consequences of his choices.

Relations between parents and children and siblings and mates. This is not external. We can't separate them.

Nothing remains static in war or military weapons, and it is consequently often dangerous to rely on courses suggested by apparent similarities in the past.

I'd been on 'Buffy' - that is an amazing community, the Joss Whedon fans.

I am trying to do two things: dare to be a radical and not a fool, which is a matter of no small difficulty.

If you walk through life in a fighting pose with your fists balled up and ready to strike, someone, someday, somewhere, is going to want to test your mettle.

If you want the truth to prevail, you must cause people to realize the truth. This requires much more skill than is required to simply tell it.

~As a working mother high heels don't really fit into my life anymore - but in a totally wonderful way. I would much rather think about my son than myself.~

(In schools) There is an emphasis on doing things right rather on doing the right things.