I deserved better than to be bullshitted by the vice president.

Programs that pay farmers not to farm often devastate rural areas. The reductions hurt everyone from fertilizer companies to tractor salesmen.

Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three need supervision.

You cannot get ahead while you are getting even.

Hillary Clinton bothers me a lot. I realized the other day that her thoughts sound a lot like Karl Marx. She hangs around a lot of Marxists. All her friends are Marxists.

If I were in the President's place, I would not get a chance to resign. I would be lying in a pool of my own blood hearing Mrs. Armey, standing over me, saying, 'How do I reload this damn thing?'

Demagoguery beats data in making public policy.

The American Dream is not to own your own home, but to get your kids out of it.

The average family pays more in taxes than it spends on food, clothing, and shelter combined.

Politics will sooner or later make fools of everybody.

The Democratic Party has pretty much abandoned all the things that they cherish.

Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule.

Throughout the empire, it was whispered that although the husband waded through mud, the wife walked upon water. She, it was said, was graced with a gentle touch which tamed the most vicious of men.

The only thing I can tell you is when it's there, you know it. And when it ain't, no amount of wishful thinking will make it so.

I think I'll give it up, the fantasy is over, I wanted to play Spiderman, Peter Parker.

The movies are celluloid hemorrhoids. No, worse: They're celluloid Bon Jovi.

The greatness of the human personality begins at the hour of birth.

Everybody matters. Everyone just wants to be heard.

One market paradigm that I take exception to is: Buy low and sell high. I believe far more money is made by buying high and selling at even higher prices.

Without centuries of Christian antisemitism, Hitlers passionate hatred would never have been so fervently echoed.

I am an emotional plagiarist, stealing other people's pain, subsuming it into my own until I can't remember whose it is any more.