I did children's theater when I was younger, and then when I was about 14 I started doing theater in New York City.

The first rule of Zombieland: Cardio. When the zombie outbreak first hit, the first to go, for obvious reasons ... were the fatties.

I had great difficulty in school interacting with others, and I took refuge in the contrived setting of play acting, which is what I still do.

I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah.

Every character I play has to be the hero of his own story, the way we're all heroes of our own lives.

I have an iPad and I watch three things: 'The Daily Show,' '60 Minutes,' and 'Meet the Press.'

No compliment is ever sufficient and every insult, of course, is true.

I have one female fan. But she lives with me. I'm not aware of any others.

Society will decide after the technology is created what we will and won't accept.

The happiest moments for me, creatively, are doing readings of a play around a table where there's no audience.

People ask me what my hobbies are in interviews, and I always say biking. But all I bike for is to get to rehearsal more quickly.

I also hold very strong personal convictions about censorship. I don't believe in forbidden knowledge.

Often we don’t see the majesty of God’s design because we’re caught up in the mediocrity of our own designs.

A true friend is not the one you share laughter with. But the one you share laughter and sorrow with.

I got my first flash of titties from a Venezuelan hooker.

Learned we may be with another man's learning: we can only be wise with wisdom of our own: [I hate a sage who is not wise for himself]

Marvelous oriental pace he's got, just like a Buddhist statue.

The best contraceptive in the world is a good education.

I think dating courtesies are common courtesies that should be practiced in most all civilized encounters. I pine for the days of good, old-fashioned manners.

Any incentive to paint is as good as any other. There is no poor subject.

World barista champions use the AeroPress to make coffee on the folding tray tables of airplanes.