I did stand-up, weird and ignorant stuff about my career - anything for a laugh.

I knew when my career was over. In 1965 my baseball card came out with no picture.

People don't know this, but I helped the Cardinals win the pennant. I came down with hepatitis. The trainer injected me with it!

I signed a very modest $3,000 bonus with the Braves in Milwaukee. And my old man didn't have that kinda money to put out.

They broke it to me gently. The manager came up to me before a game and told me they didn't allow visitors in the clubhouse.

Between me and my roommate, we've hit 400 Major League home runs.

The highlight of my baseball career came in Philadelphia's Connie Mack Stadium when I saw a fan fall out of the upper deck. When he got up and walked away, the crowd booed.

I led the league in go get 'em next time.

In 1962 I was named Minor League Player of the Year. It was my second season in the bigs.

When I came up to bat with three men on and two outs in the ninth, I looked in the other team's dugout and they were already in street clothes.

When I played baseball I got death threats all the time--from my mother.

Harry, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don’t plan it, don’t wait for it, just let it happen

Being a teacher is back-breakingly difficult work. It is also extremely important work.

Where's my white collarless shirt from Fred Segal? It's my most capable-looking outfit!

To kill our dream life would be to kill ourselves, to mutilate our soul. Dreaming is the one thing we have that's really ours, invulnerably and inalterably ours.

I don't believe art is available; it's rare and curious and should be completely isolated; one is more aware of its magic the more it is isolated.

The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.

A husband only worries about a particular Other Man; a wife distrusts her whole species.

He had realised that most vital of humanities. he had touched lives. And he had raised three boys that no one had wanted into men.

It is right to submit to a higher authority whenever a command of God would be violated.

Idolatry happens when we take good things and make them ultimate things