I did the 'Tonight Show' once, and I choked up. I get intimidated.

As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything.

I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!

Six bucks and my right nut says we're not landing in Chicago.

If you're not happy without it, you'll never be happy with it.

Wherever you go in the world, you just have to say you're Canadian and people laugh

Who wants an orange whip? Orange whip? Orange whip? Three orange whips.

I thought to myself, "Join the army!" It's free. So I figured while I'm here I'll lose a few pounds.

You know, the finest line a man will walk is between success at work and success at home.

I know what I have to do if I want to lose weight and stay healthy: eat a proper diet and exercise. All I've got to do is apply it.

I'm the one who has to look in the mirror, and after a while it begins to eat at you.

Never seek permission to be yourself.

Golden possibilities exist in every adversity.

Human rights are for those who can behave like humans. If you can't act responsibly you relinquish that right.

All partings foreshadow the great final one.

The more people know, the more they forgive.

After all, in today's music scene every band seems to steal from other bands.

Our greatest illusion is disillusion. We imagine that we are disillusioned with life, when the truth is that we have not even begun to live.

The only possibility in the United States for a humane society would be a revolution with Elvis Presley as leader.

Beware of anything that competes with your loyalty to Jesus Christ.

I love Tris the Divergent, who makes decisions apart from faction loyalty, who isn’t some faction archetype. But the Tris who’s trying as hard as she can to destroy herself … I can’t love her.