I did theater for a few years while I was in New York, but it was tough having to perform scripts worse than what I knew I could write.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

Chase Dreams, Not People.The right people will be drawn to you.

When we illuminate the road back to our ancestors, they have a way of reaching out, of manifesting themselves...sometimes even physically.

Do not trust a person who never fails. Failure is the incubator for character development.

I think what a family is shouldn't be so hard to see. It should be the one thing people know just by looking at you.

As long as you can start you are all right. The juice will come.

The harder you try to become the opposite of your parents, the more quickly you become them.

In the lives of children, pumpkins turn into coaches, mice and rats turn into men. When we grow up, we realize it is far more common for men to turn into rats.

Disaster mitigation... increases the self reliance of people who are at risk - in other words, it is empowering.

Match me such marvel, save in Eastern clime, A rose-red city'half as old asTime'!

Barbara did the selecting, and that's probably the most brilliant thing, was she put together a group of women, different backgrounds, different experiences.