I didn't hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.

If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.

I just want to do cool stuff.

Once I found out how much an Off-Off-Broadway actor makes, I was whoring myself out the next day.

I learned more about elections on election night 2000 than I ever did during my 16 years of schooling.

I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I'm like, "Eh, I made it this far."

I want to manufacture a feud.

If anything, there's more at stake when you're older, and more responsibility and more legitimate things to worry about.

I get all of my comedy from CNN.

I don't like gadgets for their own sake. I like gadgets that are tools. And I like simple gadgets that do one thing really well like a hammer.

I have to stay true to myself.

A death without being a loss to anybody is the most unworthy death.

For five years Isaac had been working eighteen hours a day.

You don’t love a girl because of beauty.You love her because she sings a song only you can understand.

Many people spend the ends of their lives alone, and probably a lot of years in the middle of their lives, and I'm glad I had the opportunity to experience the rewards of solitude.

You need a particular talent only to want to please. I don't have this talent.

Murky language means someone wants to pick your pocket.

Life is uncertain; death is certain.

I think by being happy it actually affects the way that you look too.

It's interesting to see the dislocation between how people perceive a person visually. Apparently on the radio I'm blonde with a big arse.