I didn't know dirty words could be done that artfully.

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly

As I looked out into the night sky, across all those infinite stars, it made me realize how insignificant they are.

Life is a matter of passing the time enjoyably. There may be other things in life, but I've been too busy passing my time enjoyably to think very deeply about them.

One of the ways to avoid being beaten by the system is to laugh at it.

I am blind -- but I am able to read thanks to a wonderful new system known as 'broil' . . . I'm sorry, I'll just feel that again.

You realize that suicide's a criminal offense. In less enlightened times they'd have hung you for it.

Now I tell you the downside of this is you feel awful, but the upside is you feel terrific.

If there's one thing I can't bear, it's when hundreds of old men come creeping in through the window in the middle of the night and throw all manner of garbage over me. I can't bear that.

Everything I've ever told you, including this, is a lie.

I went to the University of Life and was chucked out.

When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.

Nothing in all creation is so like God as stillness.

The world only knows those that have the word in them

It's impossible, that's for sure. So let's start working.

No one individual vote, no one individual quote or no one individual statement defines me, my beliefs, or my record.

Grieve not; though the journey of life be bitter, and the end unseen, there is no road which does not lead to an end.

The craft Emmys are kind of the kids table at Thanksgiving. You're not really invited to the big dance. It's still really, really exciting, and the statue still counts.

In winter we lead a more inward life. Our hearts are warm and cheery, like cottages under drifts.

It’s easy to forgo distractions and to not accumulate things when you have a larger goal on the horizon.

I love that it's such an uncynical film [Swiss Army Man]. I think it's got a lot of love in there, and I think that's a nice thing in this day and age.