I didn't need the elf outfit to play an elf; I could just play an elf.

Comedians are never really on vacation because you're always at attention... that antenna is always out there.

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't all that much fun.

I love portraying the totally indifferent person.

I'm most proud of the longevity of my marriage, my kids, and my grandchildren. If you don't have that, you really don't have very much.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down'.

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on.

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less defeated in times of travail.

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves.

I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run.

I suddenly realized I was in California. Warm, palmy air - air you can kiss - and palms.

I squeegeed my third eye and could see only you.

Revenge is never the answer

Those who envy the success of others are normally ignorant to the sacrafices, failures, and dedication that it took for them to get there

I've had good publishers and bad publishers, and you've got to learn when the advice is sensible and when it's not.

The colors black and white are my uniform, to honor the working class. People like my parents, who were janitors and had to wear a uniform every day. It keeps me grounded.

I say 'Out' to every negative thought that comes to my mind. No person, place, or thing has any power over me, for I am the only thinker in my mind. I create my own reality and everyone in it.

Artists of all disciplines must be willing to go into the dark, let go control, be surprised.

When I met you it was magic... We polar opposites, but attracted like we was magnets.