I didn't want to be nobody, and that was the only way I could be somebody was to do stand-up.

I didn't come from a background where I saw a lot of loving couples. All my aunts and uncles were either split up or fighting all the time. The only healthy relationships I saw were on TV.

When things are bad, it's the best time to reinvent yourself.

It's not even about black and white anymore, because so many people are from mixed backgrounds and mixed ethnicities, and it's just a great time to be able to pull all that together.

No particular race is the enemy. Ignorance is the enemy.

When I was 10 there wasnt trampolines and cartoon charaters, I never went to Chuck E Cheese! My mom said 'You wanna see a mouse pull the refrigerator Out!'

Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them.

We're Mexi-cans not Mexi-can'ts.

It's a great day in America when white people, black people and Latinos can all come together and pick on another minority.

I'm a big fan of reality shows. I thought the first one, Dukes of Hazzard, captured white people perfectly.

Y'know, if those pews reclined, and the priests gave the Raiders scores I'd go to church every Sunday.

What is that thing? It looks like a model of the human digestive tract made from broken beer bottles and sadness.

But one day you're going to wake up to the smell of a friend making burnt toast and warm coffee, and you're going to smile with relief knowing you made it. Knowing somebody found ways to love you.

Long term thinking and planing enhances short term decision making. Make sure you have a plan of your life in your hand, and that includes the financial plan and your mission.

I never feel like I've done good enough. That's why I'm always so excited about working because I gotta keep pushing myself to do better work, to do great work.

Loneliness is a kind of prison. [Vincent Van Gogh]

The most famous living artist in America is Andy Warhol, unfortunately.

She let him know how much she liked what he was doing by scoring his back with her nails and crying out with pleasure. "Oh, God." "Nay, lass. Connor.

strength and beauty must go hand in hand

Money is the ultimate source of joy.

It is important for me to feel at home.