I didn't want to change the name on the towels.

My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch.

Pressure is playing for ten dollars when you don't have a dime in your pocket.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of a bagpipe.

You can make a lot of money in this game. Just ask my ex-wives. Both of them are so rich that neither of their husbands work.

I'm going to win so much money this year, my caddie will make the top twenty money-winners list.

The older I get, the better I used to be.

You're Mexican until you make money and then you're Spanish.

I'm not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, they'd come up sliced.

If you are caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron.

There are two things you can do with your head down - play golf and pray.

Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of suprises.

It seems to me that psychology is only another word for what the ancients called fate.

The walls of books around him dense with the past formed a kind of insulation against the present world and its disasters.

O'er many a frozen, many a fiery Alp, Rocks, caves, lakes, fens, bogs, dens, and shades of death.

'What's your favorite position?' 'CEO.'

We won't stop until the first Saudi license is issued to a woman.

Well, delusions are a wonderful thing, and they keep you company, too.

I've never done it before. Sometimes it's tough. I don't have any peripheral vision.

A man does not always choose what his guardian angel intends.

That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly.