I dinna trust him," said Slightly Mad Angus. "He reads books an' such.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I've been called Mr. Patient Money because I have the patience to work through challenging circumstances.

My father made sure that I had lots of levels of education – from ballroom-dancing to painting, commando training, theatre and magic.

The interest of the landlord is always opposed to the interests of every other class in the community.

I will come again & conquer you because as a mountain you can't grow, but as a human, I can

I just want to keep living the dream. So I'm telling you, my friend, help me keep living the dream.

Anybody I talk to agrees that maybe 2 percent of the building environment since the war, we could call architecture.

You loved me as hard as you knew how. I'd give anything to go back and love you better.

So although women can do anything that men can't do, they can also do something that men can't do, and that is mother their children.

I won't go to places where you're going to find more attention. I go to the opposite.

It requires a great deal of boldness and a great deal of caution to make a great fortune, and when you have it, it requires ten times as much skill to keep it.