I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

I told my doctor I get very tired when I go on a diet, so he gave me pep pills. Know what happened? I ate faster.

I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

I don’t drink anymore - just the same amount.

I'm still chasing girls. I don't remember what for, but I'm still chasing them.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.

You are only young once, and if you work it right, once is enough.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

They had me on the operating table all day. They looked into my stomach, my gall bladder, they examined everything inside of me. Know what they decided? I need glasses.

I don't like money actually, but it quiets the nerves.

It pays to get drunk with the best people.

Positiveness is not a god gift. Things are negative when you realize that frog inside you is not able to jump high.

As human beings we have a tendency to filter out information that does not match up with our preconceived beliefs, including the supremacy of our organization.

Then Lady Chiltern argued the matter on views directly opposite to those which she had put forward when discussing the matter with her husband.

Some people will like it [Fifty Shades of Grey] and some won't. I have other movies coming up, this is not what my whole life turns around.

Be proud of yourself. Try to eat well...and when you cheat, enjoy it!

One day after laying a wreath at the tomb of Martin Luther King Jr., President Bush appoints a federal judge who has built his career around dismantling Dr. King's legacy.

Illinois corn farmers are the Nation's number two exporter of feed grains.

I tried to laugh early on about ego and pride... I do something great and then I do something really dumb and then I laugh. You'll always be that kid.

I think Scotland is probably my spiritual home and I love it there very, very much.

There's a marvelous sense of mastery that comes with writing a sentence that sounds exactly as you want it to.