I do believe in reincarnation, but I do not believe there is life before noon.

A home without a grandmother is like an egg without salt.

If you ever meet someone who cannot understand why solitary confinement is considered punishment, you have met a misanthrope.

I simply like guns because you can't shoot people without them.

I wasn't used to children and they were getting on my nerves. Worse, it appeared that I was a child, too. I hadn't known that before; I thought I was just short.

Writers who have nothing to say always strain for metaphors to say it in.

If we define a misanthrope as 'someone who does not suffer fools and likes to see fools suffer,' we have described a person with something to look forward to.

The more immoral we become in big ways, the more puritanical we become in little ways.

God may have loved the common people, but a trip to any shopping mall suggests that He made far too many of them.

Golf is an exercise in Scottish pointlessness for people who are no longer able to throw telephone poles at each other.

Democracy is the fig leaf of elitism.

The value of experience is not in seeing much, but in seeing wisely.

The subconscious n conscious mind together comprise functional brain which operates 24 hours a day as a kind of computer, selecting and registering data n then feeding it back when need it.

If you can establish yourself in the community as a giver, those people with whom you associate yourself will extend your branding far beyond you.

Like skateboarders, writers live by rejection; like writers, any skater worth his salt must have the single-minded tenacity of a wiener dog.

I feel 21. I've looked after myself and take my football seriously.

I think every year, my role changes. And I am an open house for advice, for anyone to use. It's just a matter of asking questions.

The sage honors his part of the settlement, but does not exact his due from others.

With respect to teachers' salaries .... Poor teachers are grossly overpaid and good teachers grossly underpaid. Salary schedules tend to be uniform and determined far more by seniority.

You know, I have some issues. But I just love to play different characters all the time, and I try not to repeat myself too much.

Saying atheism is a belief system is like saying not going skiing is a hobby.