I do feel a lot of times like I'm out of my league with my kids in terms of what my responsibility is.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

In the marathon of life negativity is never as light-footed as a dreamer's sprint.

I see the work the pope has to do. It is a huge responsibility. Nobody campaigns for it.

From a sequence of these individual patterns, whole buildings with the character of nature will form themselves within your thoughts, as easily as sentences.

I have more awareness of other people and, I hope, more sensitivity to their needs. I also find that I'm more direct and outspoken.

I've never loved anybody the way I love my children.

A sense of worthiness is a child's most important need.

Another good thing about gossip is that it is within everybody's reach, And it is much more interesting than any other form of speech.

God doesn't call the equipped, son. God equips the called. And you have been called.

One day it will have to be officially admitted that what we have christened reality is an even greater illusion than the world of dreams.

One becomes gradually accustomed to a new realization of the nature of 'happiness': one has to assume happiness when Fate does not carry out all its threats simultaneously.