I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

If you've got the truth you can demonstrate it. Talking doesn't prove it.

God the Great Giver can open the whole universe to our gaze in the narrow space of a single lane.

Do not miss your children's childhood. Do not be away 200 nights a year as I was. Do not put strains on your marriage or family.

Only those who overflow with love will build the happy and enlightened world of the future.

Reason should investigate its own parameters before declaring its omniscience.

Once we get used to listening to our dreams, our whole body responds like a musical instrument.

Godly people are waiting for the Lord; therefore they live, therefore they are saved, therefore they receive what has been promised.

It is by women that nature writes on the hearts of men.

One common calamity makes men extremely affect each other, though they differ in every other particular