I do not have a single white note on my piano; my elephant smoked too much.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Careful there, Poet. I might start to believe you.

I feel like Hollywood is a big high school again. Seriously, Ashton Kutcher is the prom king.

Ray Cummins is my good friend and one of the best finger pickers around.

It is advertising and the logic of consumerism that governs the depiction of reality in the mass media.

A film is a boat which is always on the point of sinking-it always tends to break up as you go along and drag you under with it.

The market for nonsense is infinite.

Most movies, once the action starts there's no more characters. You say a couple of dumb lines and then there's just explosions until the end.

It's extraordinary to look into a baby's face and see a piece of your flesh and your spirit. It makes you realize you are a part of the human race.

Directing doesn't appeal to me. I'm much more in the world of ideas.

I wouldn't say that the efforts of academics to critique the media's messages are "half-hearted." As far as I am aware, the efforts scarcely exist: very few even pay attention to the question.