I do not intend to let myself down more than I can possibly help, and I find that the fewer illusions I have about myself or the world around me, the better company I am for myself.

Wit ought to be a glorious treat like caviar; never spread it about like marmalade.

It is discouraging how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.

There's always something fishy about the French.

Mona Lisa looks as if she has just been sick, or is about to be.

I love criticism just so long as it's unqualified praise.

Work is much more fun than fun.

A perfect martini should be made by filling a glass with gin then waving it in the general direction of Italy.

For gin, in cruel sober truth, supplies the fuel for flaming youth.

Work hard, do the best you can, don't ever lose faith in yourself and take no notice of what other people say about you.

You will know you're old when you cease to be amazed.

I will never give up, just push harder because the thought of quitting if far worse than the temporary pain I'm feeling now.

I don't like to talk about myself. I like to talk about stuff that's happening, stuff that's going to happen, and the people who are going to make it happen.

What poor education I have received has been gained in the University of Life.

In order to inspire people, that's going to have to come from somewhere deep inside of you.

Improve human intelligence to get Osama bin Laden.

I'm like a fatter version of Amy Winehouse and a skinnier version of Lily Allen.

I don't take myself seriously any more. Sometimes I just garden in my knickers and platform shoes.

I tend not to work with a specific person in mind. Art is a matter of statistics. It's not about individuals. It's about people.

I believe in - I am proud to belong to - the United States.

It's no big deal about how you get language to evolve. You cause language to evolve by saying new and intelligent things to each other.