I do not walk around imaging myself to be intimidating or smart.

People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

younot wanting mewasthe beginning of mewanting myselfthank you

If technique is of no interest to a writer, I doubt that the writer is an artist.

I thought I'd grow up to be a teacher, or maybe run for political office.

If you hung him for being a good singer, you'd be hanging an innocent man!

Well time has a way of throwing it all in your face. The past, she is haunted, the future is laced.

I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now.

I hated the makeup. I hated all that pancake makeup. I didn't really like dressing for parts.

Hell is other people's fantasies.

It's kind of like, I love doing tons of different things. The only thing I hate is not being in ensembles.

There is no absolute beginning to any story, after all. There is only the moment you begin watching.