I do original songs in the style of other artists, where I try to learn all their musical idiosyncrasies and try to do something that sounds like them and yet is a bit more sick and twisted.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

Art and commerce are not irreconciliable, they are inextricably intertwined.

Many a woman is in a relationship with or married to her man not because she loves him but only because she likes men like him.

Change came from below, as it usually does, rather than being imposed from above.

The future is already here - it's just not evenly distributed.

You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.

Behind every communication problem is a sweaty ten-minute conversation that you don't want to have.

On the tawny sands and shelves trip the pert fairies and the dapper elves.

Let's clean up our environment. Let's clean up our bodies, but most importantly, let's not permit our babies of the future to be polluted before they are even born.

Maybe in the future I'll put out someone's one-off project, but generally I don't have time.

The Federal Reserve is answerable to no one.