I do situations and make fun of authority and life.

Italians are fantastic people, really. They can work you over in an alley while singing an opera.

No matter where you go in this world, you will always find a Jew sitting in the beach chair next to you.

I think if I took therapy, the doctor would quit. He'd just pick up the couch and walk out of the room.

When you enter a room, you have to kiss his ring. I don't mind, but he has it in his back pocket.

When you stand alone and sell yourself, you can't please everyone. But when you're different, you can last.

Who picks your clothes - Stevie Wonder?

I always rib people, but nobody ever gives me a hard time. I don't know why. Maybe they're afraid of what I might say. There's probably a lesson in that somewhere, but I don't know what it is.

Yeah, I make fun of blacks, and why not? I'm not a black.

I used to play golf. I wanted to be a better player, but after a while I realized I'd always stink. And that's when I really started to enjoy the game.

Some people say funny things - but I say things funny.

Sleep, Maya, " he murmured softly. "Sleep, my love, and I promise that I will come looking for you.

I grew up with my two sisters and my mom, so it's my lot in life to be surrounded by women.

You have to leave room in life to dream.

Conscience: A small, still voice that makes minority reports.

More people write poetry than read it.

The more you subtract, the more you add.

I didn't turn with the enemy pilots as a rule. I might make one turn to see what the situation was but not often. It was too risky.

You have to have the courage to wait, to say no, ... And thats difficult. This job is very uncertain, and its frightening.

I find that the best virtue I have has in it some tincture of vice.

Get up sucker and fight. Get up and fight