I do the same gig. I might change it a little; I might slow it down if I'm in the South. I talk fast, and they're not used to people talking that fast.

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

right in this moment, I can´t even remember what unhappy feels like.

What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.

God gives me the children's ministry heart and patience. This is what He wants. It's awesome. I don't know where He's gonna take it - but God is building this thing.

The words of the Bible, and the Bible alone, should be heard from the pulpit.

I used to be a die-hard defender of physical film, which I still am. I love shooting on physical film and I think it's great.

The trouble with most of the things that people want is that they get them.

It's a growing trend. Viewers are our customers, but so are advertisers. And advertisers want different ways to reach our viewers.

The unspoken word never does harm.

One of the weird things about L.A. is that there's always a set of negative perceptions that attaches itself to this city.

To establish what is true is very difficult. Frequently it is easier to establish what is false. And, passing through the false, it's possible to understand something about truth.