I do want children. I study dads more. I watch what they go through. I admire my father more than I ever did and my brother and my sister.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

On this lovely, lovely Hanukkah, drink your gin and tonica.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

Hard work is the secret of being a genius.

Lots of paths lead to beautiful places, but always remember someone had to make those paths. Have no fear in making your own path.

Life is a gift, but living is a choice.

If traveling was free, you'd never see me again.

Losing something is difficult while gaining something is easier. So try to gain beauty and make your life prettier.

A well-established village in New England or the northern Middle-West could afford a town drunkard a town atheist and a few Democrats.

Moral of the story: try to get things right, figure out what's going wrong with the scenario, and don't give up.

Only that which makes you feel bad after doing is immoral.

One of the most visible effects of a child's presence in the household is to turn the worthy parents into complete idiots when, without him, they would perhaps have remained mere imbeciles.

So I moved to Europe and only came back when directors like Robert Altman would call me after they'd seen my work in Full Metal Jacket.