I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

Consciousness cannot be accounted for in physical terms. For consciousness is absolutely fundamental. It cannot be accounted for in terms of anything else.

The sense of community is that feeling of togetherness that brings us comfort. We are all alone in the world, so we strive to form bonds with others to eliminate that sense of feeling alone.

If she lives, she shall be my wedded wife. If she dies--mother, I can't speak of what I shall feel if she dies." His voice was choked in his throat.

Rainbows introduce us to reflections of different beautiful possibilities so we never forget that pain and grief are not the final options in life.

Sometimes the solitary voice can be the best one.

Nothing is more conspicuous than a farting princess.

Don't tell me that you have exhausted Life. When a man says that, one knows that life has exhausted him.

I'm not a violent person and I don't hit people.

A weak faith can lay hold on a strong Christ.

What every genuine philosopher (every genuine man, in fact) craves most is praise although the philosophers generally call it recognition!