I don't always vote in general elections, but I think I've always voted Labour.

On my first day in New York a guy asked me if I knew where Central Park was. When I told him I didn't, he said: Do you mind if I mug you here?

When I wake up on a Monday morning and I realise I don't have to go and work at the civil service, I really think I've won.

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some indication of the misery I've endured over the past twenty-five years.

I was trying to organise my DVDs into a sort of chronological order, and I am afraid that it all trailed off after the Sixties.

I don't consider myself a fashion victim. I consider fashion a victim of me.

I'll never forget my first experience of swede. It was at school and I thought I was getting mashed potato. I've never got over it.

I remember being fascinated by the very nature of comedy from the age of 10; why is this funny, and that isn't?

All disc jockeys are without talent. Noel Edmonds - I can't stand Noel Edmonds.

If you stay in a house and you go to the bathroom and there is no toilet paper, you can always slide down the banisters. Don't tell me you haven't done it.

If you became a comedian in the '80s, you had to work the circuit and make people laugh. Canned laughter is cheating.

God’s great love is the grace of redemption.

How was it possible to miss someone when they were standing right next to you?

Social mores, he argued, rules of protocol, concepts of rectitude and honor had no objective basis. They were only reflections of public and private fears.

Time is the wisest counsellor of all.

The science fiction world has a lot of people doing seriously imaginative thinking.

Predators and prey always coexist. That's why we have galleries as well as photographers.

One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.

The high ideals and promises you once dressed the future in are dancing in the embers with the wind.

Norm Smith personally came and signed me up to the Melbourne Football Club. The fact that I then played cricket for Melbourne Cricket Club - the footy club didn't like it that much.

The Gulf War may not have occurred in the actual global space, but it did occur in global time. And this thanks to CNN and The Pentagon.