I don't believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don't want to say I don't believe in God but I don't think I do. But I believe in people who do.

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

Acorns are planted silently by some unnoticed breeze.

Someday there is going to be a book about a middle-aged man with a good job, a beautiful wife and two lovely children who still manages to be happy.

Freedom and justice for all are infinitely more to be desired than pedestals for a few.

Liberty means more to me than life itself.

It's motive alone which gives character to the actions of men.

Although the term dialogue was really a euphemism for scientists trying to kill each other, this format worked very well.

I seem to have a knack for picking movies that go on to be cult favorites.

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.

Be yourself, no matter what they say.

But if I were to say who influenced me most, then I'd say Franz Kafka. And his works were always anchored in the Central European region.